


How Camp Half-Blood Fell And Burst Into Flames

by sssrha



Series: I’m just archiving this, don’t read it [11]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, F/M, Fire, Hades Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Cheating, LOTS of spelling errors, Like. A lot, M/M, Nico di Angelo is a Little Shit, Spiders, and i really have no idea what's going on, but yk what it's fine i think i like it better this way, does this count as a self-insert??, does this have a plot?? i cant tell, gratuitous use of fangirls, im rereading this for the first time in years while writing the tags, nah, no beta because if i had one then maybe this would actually make sense, oh this is gonna be a doozy, sugar rush - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssrha/pseuds/sssrha
Summary: Nico's AWOL, Percy's going crazy, Leo's so, so sorry, Hades will need a night lamp for the next three weeks, and Annabeth? Well...suffice to say, she isn't happy. And all because Leo gave Nico some candy...
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Calypso/Leo Valdez, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: I’m just archiving this, don’t read it [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033011
Kudos: 3





	1. The Horrible, Inconceivable Terror

**Author's Note:**

> wlkqnwkjw this fic is very old and pretty badly written but i think it still delivers some laughs. have fun reading it!

Nico was miserable. You couldn't really blame him since he could obviously tell that his boyfriend, Will Solace, Jason Grace (who was here on "Official Pontifex Maximus Business"), and Percy Jackson (who was probably just bored since Annabeth decided to go home for a week) were following him. He would have much rather preferred it if they were actually trying, hiding behind trees and fountains does not count, as it would have been less painful to watch.

For some reason, though, he had a steadily increasing sense of dread. It was not just him. The whole camp could feel it. It sent shivers up many demigods' spines.

Of course, nothing actually happened until later that day.

* * *

Oddly, it was wasn't Will, Jason, or Percy that was responsible for what happened, even if they were accomplices. Instead, it was a certain fire-user that created the chaos, not that he was trying to. Things like that just happened to him.

Right after lunch, Leo was sitting in Zeus Cabin with Jason, Percy, Will, Piper, Drew (who begged to come), Grover (who was on a very short break), and Clarrise (it was unclear why she had attended at all). They were playing the oh-so-feared game of Truth or Dare. You may not think that it is scary, but when demigods play, they go extreme, just to say that they can.

Today was "Sunday Fun-Day" (Nico and many other older campers had protested vigorously to the name) which meant that they had no schedules to follow. They could do whatever they wanted. Unfortunately for Nico, that meant that he had absolutely nothing to do.

Sighing, he decided to go to Zeus Cabin and join in the game of Truth or Dare that he had turned down when they offered that he join. Maybe it would be fun...

After Nico arrived, everyone arranged themselves into a circle on the floor. Choosing to start with Jason, they played. It was fun for a while, nothing too extreme. That is, until it was Leo's turn to ask Nico something.

"Truth or dare?" Leo asked.

"Dare," Nico replied confidently. Leo smiled, then walked out of the cabin, telling them to wait for a few minutes. Finally, Leo came back with five bags filled to the brim with different types of chocolates and candies.

"I dare you to eat as much candy as you can in five minutes." Oh, how they would regret that decision.

Clarrise was armed with a stop-watch, which she set for five minutes. They all watched in awe as Nico wolfed down all five bags, one per minute, at inhuman speed.

When Clarrise yelled, "Done!" there wasn't a candy to be seen. Leo stared, slack-jawed.

"Holy Hephaestus! That was five-hundred pieces of candy! How the hellhound did you do that?" Leo stuttered/yelled.

Nico shrugged happily.

"Idon'tknowbutitwasverytastyIwantmorecandyistheremorecandygivememorecandyyumyum!"

He then proceeded to run out the door yelling "Candy!"

That was just the beginning…

* * *

Annabeth was walking up Half-Blood Hill. She had decided to cut her week off short because of the frequent monster attacks. Her Stepmother acted like she didn't mind (opposed to how she used to pretty much yell it in her face), but Annabeth could tell she was worried about Matthew and Bobby, her Step-brothers.

"At least I can see Percy again," she muttered to herself. When she reached the top, she was expecting the usual kids playing volleyball, doing archery, or whatever they felt like since today was "Sunday Fun Day" (the name was her idea, and she was quite hurt when over half the camp protested to it).

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of campers running around, screaming, Chiron desperately trying to get their attention, and definite traces of divine power, which meant that the gods were there. Well, at least some gods.

Oh yeah, and the camp was on fire.

"What did those idiots do now? I only left for two days!" Annabeth ran to the camp. She knew she would have to save their butts.

* * *

Honestly, Leo, Jason, Percy, Will, Piper, Drew, Grover, and Clarrise all knew that they were screwed the moment Nico ran out the door. It was just confirmed when they heard loud screams. Holy Hera! They all ran out the door, following a hyperactive Nico di Angelo.

They found the source of the screams. It was pretty much all of Athena Cabin.

"What's wrong?" Jason asked. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but something was still off.

Malcolm, who was hugging (and crushing) a poor little Apollo Camper who had come to see what was wrong, raised a shaky finger towards the far wall.

They all slowly turned until they could see. On the wall were enough skeleton spiders to terrify an entomologist (a scientist that studies insects).

"Sp-spiders!" Malcolm yelled in horror. Clarrise burst out laughing.

"Those little guys scare you? Please! They're barely bigger than my pinkie finger!" She held up her pinkie finger to emphasize her point. She then fearlessly walked up and scooped up a spider.

"Hey cutie," she said to the spider, petting it affectionately. That is, until the spider bit her.

"Styx!" (cue thunder) yelled Clarrise as she hurled the arachnid to the ground. "That little piece of-"

"Language!" Jason said. Clarrise just glared at him. "Besides, it couldn't hurt that ba- OUCH!" Jason dropped the spider that he had just picked up. "That son of a-"

"Language!" Clarrise yelled.

"-Titan." Jason finished. Clarrise's glare intensified, and Jason just smiled smugly.

Suddenly, Jason said, "Wait, where's everyone else?" Clarrise looked around and realized that only she and Jason had come into Athena Cabin. Everyone else wasn't there. They must have split up somehow.

They heard another scream and all of the blood drained from Jason's face. "Piper!" he said, racing out the door. That's when Clarrise realized that she was alone in a Cabin filled with dozens of spiders and 20 kids that were terrified of them (oh, and that poor Apollo camper that a terrified Malcolm still refused to let go of).

* * *

Piper and Grover didn't mean to lose the rest of the group, it just kind of happened. They were running towards where Jason and Clarrise were running when they heard laughing. Maniacal laughing. Nico's laugh. Something about the laugh, though, terrified them. Slowly they turned around...and almost puked. There, was a cow, a dead cow, and must not have died that long ago because its flesh was still clinging to its body, but just. It had a deformed face and its rotting skin looked green and it looked like it was melting. Again, Grover and Piper felt they were going to puke. The smell didn't help, either.

They both knew that this was Nico's idea of a joke, resurrecting a dead cow, but it was a sick one. Piper is a vegetarian, and was since that one time she had driven next to a sausage factory. Grover was also obviously a vegetarian, being a satyr and all, and nature was practically his family. He knew that if Juniper were here, she would single-handedly find Nico and give him a firm talking to.

Grover opened his mouth, just about ready to cause a Panic, when Piper beat him to it. She opened her mouth and let out a high-pitched scream. The cow gave a raspy "moo!" and turned around to stampede the other way. Now, Piper wasn't that loud, but she was loud enough to get the attention of Jason, who came running for them from...wherever he was. Maybe they should have just followed him.

By the time Jason had arrived, panting, the cow had already left to go graze in the woods. "What (pant) happened?" Jason asked.

"Zombie cow," Grover muttered. Piper was still shaking. "I knew I shouldn't have taken today off," Grover continued under his breath. Jason managed to get them both to calm down when they heard another scream.

"What now?" Jason groaned, taking off in the direction of where the scream came from. Coincidentally, that was the same direction Mr. Zombie Cow had went.

* * *

Drew didn't know why she had come in here. Her Aphrodite senses were tingling, which meant that there was someone or something in need of a makeover. She just didn't think that it would be this bad. In front of her stood all of Mr. Zombie Cow's family. The one on the far right was his aunt, the one on the far left was his mother, and the one in the middle was his sister. Also, there was his cousin, step-sister, step-brother, father, step-father, oh, oh, look! There's his third cousin twice removed! Yeah, it was a huge family, all gathered together in a herd. The horror!

After letting out a terrified scream, she promptly fainted. That was how Jason found her, lying on the ground, with dead cows licking her face. He was soon followed by a terrified Piper who was carrying an unconscious Grover.

"Don't (pant) leave me behind (pant) with a scared Grover (pant) ever again!" Jason nodded, then hoisted Drew up, throwing her over his shoulders like she was a sack of potatoes. Now that he had Drew secured, he looked around. There, up on a tree branch, was Nico.

"Nico! That was going too far! You know how scared you made them? Besides, the forest is forbidden-" Before Jason could go on, Nico burst into giggles.

"The Forbidden Forest! Like from Harry Potter! Wait a second!" Nico yelled, his eyes wide. "Percy is just like Harry, Grover is Ron, and Annabeth is Hermione! Wait, but Harry and Hermione don't end up together, even though they should have..." Nico started to mumble to himself angrily.

Jason was about to say something again when someone yelled, "Nico!"

Jason threw his hands up in the air (dropping poor Drew in the process). "Fine! I'll just stand here and be quiet because _obviously_ no one seems to think what I say matters!" Apparently he was correct because Will (the one who yelled, "Nico!") and Leo (who was running behind him) completely ignored him when they got there.

While Jason was sulking next to a tree, Nico looked down and giggled again. "Looks like I've got to go!" He jumped off the branch, vanishing into the shadow of the tree before he could hit the ground. Everyone could ominously hear someone humming the first few notes from the Harry Potter soundtrack.

Everyone looked around...then Leo burst into tears. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for Nico to go all crazy! I just wanted to do an awesome dare! Waahh!" He hugged Will, sobbing.

"There there," Will said while awkwardly patting Leo's back. He turned to Jason and mouthed the word "Help".

Jason gestured at Drew and mouthed "You're on your own".

Grumbling, Will turned back to Leo. "Hey, Leo, why don't you go find Calypso?" Leo perked up.

"Oh yeah! She was helping the rest of Hephaestus Cabin with their forging. Her fire-proof and (almost) undestroyable cloth is great for making light-weight armor!" He then spun around, and ran out of the forest yelling, "Calypso!".

Sighing, Will, walked over to Drew and checked her over. "She seems fine, just unconscious." He said the same thing for Grover. "Now, where would Nico go next?" Jason thought for a minute.

"Well, the only one left is Percy. Nico would probably want to scare him, which, considering how he scared everyone else, would be..." Will, Jason, and Piper's eyes widened.

"Dead fish," they breathed in unison. This was bad. Percy hated dead fish. Even the idea of dead fish puts him on a rampage, destroying everything in sight. And Nico had a whole lake to work with...

They heard a scream. "Right on time," Jason muttered. Then, they headed towards Poseidon Cabin, where the scream came from.

* * *

When they arrived at the beach behind Poseidon Cabin, they saw Percy looking, horrified, at a plate that was set up on what looked like a nightstand. All of the possibilities raced in their minds. Grilled salmon? Just plain rotting fish? Or... _sushi_? Percy hated sushi the most. A whole art for cooking fish? Despicable. It was actually Percy's fault that fish as a whole was no longer served at camp.

They all ran...and then stopped at what they saw on the plate. It wasn't fish. No, it was something much worse (in Percy's opinion, at least). A plate full of... _red cookies_! Red! The horror!

Meanwhile, Will, Jason, Piper, and a now awake Grover all facepalmed. Really? This was what they came here for? Red cookies? Nico suddenly appeared from the shadows of Poseidon Cabin.

He walked up behind Percy and, before anyone could stop him, whispered (yelled) "Boo!". Percy let out a squeak of terror and...fainted. "I don't even care anymore," Jason said. Grover nodded sagely.

At that point, Will managed to grab Nico, and now the two were wrestling on the ground. It could have ended there. It would have ended there. It should have ended there. Then, Hades decided to show up. You know that something will go wrong when Hades shows up. He was glaring specifically at his son who was completely oblivious, trying to get his boyfriend off of him.

This was merely 15 minutes before the fire. Annabeth was fifteen minutes away from slapping everyone involved in the face. Several times.

Of course, that story is for next time.


	2. How Everything Went Wrong in 15 Minutes

Under normal circumstances, Malcolm would have apologized to the poor Apollo kid (if he remembered correctly, his name was Sanders McRands). Apparently, though, these weren't normal circumstances. Right now, he still refused to let go of poor Sanders.

Sanders understood this and didn't hold it against Malcolm, but it was still rather uncomfortable. He was, however, seeing red when Clarrise, who was perfectly capable of saving him, ran out on him. The nerve of that girl! When he got his hands on her...he would probably yell at her. He was under no illusion that he could take on Clarrise and survive to tell the tale. He was, however, capable of trapping her in a net and then proceeding to chew her out until she managed to cut her way out with whatever knife/sword/spear/other-pointy-thing-she-will-definitely-have and proceed to chase him around camp, or until someone else found him and stopped him.

Either way, he knew that after he did that, he would have to go the remainder of the summer always looking behind his back. On the bright side, the few minutes of glory he would get with yelling at her would totally be worth it.

Thank the Gods that it was at that moment when May Bands (his...it was complicated) walked in. Malcolm yelled, "May! Help!" She looked at the wall that Malcolm was pointing at and sighed in exasperation.

"Really?" she yelled. "They're not even as big as my pinkie finger!" Shaking off the déjà vu, Sanders watched as May grabbed a sheet of paper that was laying on the nearby bunk. She used it to swat away all of the spiders. They walked in a straight line (which no one remembered until much later) out the door. Now, May was a daughter of Athena. Why wasn't she scared of spiders? No one really knew why. Especially when she was terrified of heights, the dark, and had stage fright.

So, when she told everyone that she had a pet tarantula, they were surprised, to say the least.

She stood with a triumphant grin on her face, until she noticed that everyone was looking at her. Then she immediately switched to awkward mode. "I'll be going now." With that statement, she ran out the door, leaving behind a strangely disappointed Sanders (he wanted to thank her and tell her there was no reason to be embarrassed) and 20 relieved kids (with severe arachnophobia).

* * *

Hades was mad. No, not just mad, he was beyond mad. He was furious. How dare his son destroy his wife's 25th most precious flower and leave him to deal with the consequences. He managed to calm down his terrifying wife, but now he was the terrifying one!

Poor Hades didn't see the shadow of almost a thousand preteen girls standing just behind him. No, he didn't notice the other 300 little boys standing next to them, either.

Oh, Hades was going down. Why? Because as strong as Hades, an elder god, one of the Big Three, and the almighty ruler of Hell, was, he had nothing on the Nico di Angelo fans.

"Oh, but how are there Nico di Angelo fans in the Percy Jackson universe?" Well, my cute little readers, this is MY fanfiction, which means MY rules. MY word is law. And I say that the fourth wall (the imaginary wall keeping the canon world from our world) is no more!

Ah, yes, his screams! As you can probably tell, this is going to take an extreme turn. Oh, look, more screams! What else is going to happen in fifteen minutes? Let's find out!

* * *

Percy, who had regained consciousness, fled the scene. He didn't need to go more insane then he already was, and he had the feeling all of those random girls and boys whom he had never met were not going to help him. If anything, they were dead set on keeping Hades away from Nico and, to a lesser degree, Will. What on Olympus was going on? And what was that weird voice that kept saying everything he was thinking out loud?

"Get out of my head!" Percy screamed into the sky. "I know you're some god trying to mess with me!" He waited for some god to form in heavenly light and slap him across the face. Fortunately, that never happened. Unfortunately, he still heard that weird voi- **HEY!**

Percy jumped back, startled. The weird voice (which had once again started) was interrupted by another voice.

**I suggest that you quit your complaining and let me explain, fishcake!**

Fishcake? Percy thought, his mind a little fuzzy. What the heck?

**Remember me? This might help...hey, you! Yes, you, the one who's narrating, not the reader, you know what to do!**

Whoever the second weird voice was talking to **("the first weird voice" *snickers*)** indeed knew what to do. A random tree branch came and bonked Percy in the head.

At first, Percy wanted to yell out and insult whoever had done it to him **(*more snickering*)** when his eyes suddenly widened. A huge grin spread on his face.

"Oh! I remember now! Hey SSSRHA! Quick question, why did you combine the first two chapters but leave this one as is? Did you finally realize how inconsistent you are at writing?"

**Shut it, brat! Please let me get back to the story, now, fishcake! I just needed the readers to know why you are going to act weird for the rest of the story, got it?**

"Sure, whatever. But why fishcake? I'm not a fish! I'm just the son of Poseidon, that's all! That doesn't make me a fish! Besides, what if I was a fish? Fish deserve rights, too!" Percy seemed to be going a little crazy, not that he cared.

Somewhere in the camp, Dionysus felt like he had some insanity to tend to.

Back to Percy, he waited expectantly while SSSRHA thought it over.

**Because...I want to! And yes, fish deserve rights, too, I guess. Anyway, on with the story!**

* * *

While that whole fiasco was taking place, Hades was still screaming. Not that anyone had hurt him. No, he was screaming, horrified at the pure amount of hate rolling off of the random little boys and girls as they positioned themselves between Nico and him.

Oh, the horror!

Twelve more minutes to go!

* * *

Leo was, at the moment, safe. But, with this crazy author, not for long. To be honest though, it really wasn't the author's fault. No, it was Leo's. And Percy helped.

You see, they were currently working on the cloth with Calypso. Calypso had improved it so that not even Leo could ruin it. Leo was currently demonstrating that.

When nothing happened, Leo turned to Calypso, a bright smile on his face. "You're amazing, Calypso! You're the best! Way smarter than all those other girls!" Calypso wouldn't have given that sentence another thought, but, then again, how would the story be fun if Leo got it easy?

Percy to the rescue! He walked through the doors, right by everyone, and sat crisscross applesauce in front of Leo and Calypso. He put his elbows on his knees and his face in his palms.

"Others girls?" he asked in a manner that would have seemed perfectly innocent if not for the smirk on his face. "Do tell." That's when Calypso really thought about Leo's words. She stared at Leo, killing intent oozing off of her.

"Others girls?" she mimicked Percy's sitting position, looking up at Leo meaningfully. "Do tell." His words were like sugar-coated knives, piercing his flesh. He felt like the world was bearing down on him, like the sky falling, like the Titans and Gaea rising at once, and like Festus was breaking down (again).

Without all of the similes **(NOT METAPHORS)** the translation was: He was terrified.

He gave Percy one betrayed look, to which Percy smirked more, and turned back to the demon-ANGEL! He meant angel, that he had to face.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hades was still screaming. Nothing had changed much there. To be honest, it was getting a little old. Will had long since stopped wrestling Nico, which had upset said boy. He still had energy to burn. Then, he watched as all of the really nice boys and girls who had been protecting him attack his father.

It was fascinating. For the first minute. Sighing, he went back to looking for something, anything, to do. It was only because he was trying so hard that he noticed the voice narrating all of his thoughts. He wasn't as dense as Percy was, so he immediately remembered who it was.

**Actually, sorry to break it to ya, sunshine, but you're denser than Percy. I just wanted to speed things up.**

Nico cursed. He was trying to get his awareness up higher than Percy's. Apparently, it wasn't working. For some reason, Percy was better at it than him. Eh, whatever. Then, Nico smiled up at the sky.

"You have a plan, don't you?"

**Yes, yes I do. Don't worry, it'll be fun! You just have to wait five more minutes.**

Nico pouted, then shrugged. "Fine. Knowing you, it'll be worth it. I'll just find something to do until then..."

Nico considered what he could do. He decided to lead his fangirl/boy army. A sly smile spread across his lips.

8 more minutes to go!

* * *

Leo stared at his doom and his best friend who had betrayed him. They both stared back, one set of eyes filled with fury, the other with amusement. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Percy had turned on him. Was it because of the whole firing on Camp Jupiter thing? If so, Percy had already punched him and yelled at him when that happened. Besides, he hadn't actually done it. He was possessed.

He could practically hear Percy's singsong voice in his head saying, "Excuses!"

"Leo!" Calypso suddenly yelled, startling both Leo and another Hephaestus kid. Her name was Emilia Grace (no relation to Thalia and Jason Grace). She was amazingly good at drawing and always had a sketchpad in her hands and colors in her tool belt. She was the only member of Hephaestus Cabin, other than Leo, who constantly wore her tool belt, just to have access to her colors. It was a little odd, but that did make her an amazing forger. She had a lot of patience and a fine eye.

But, she was scary when someone ruins her drawings. Very scary. Leo knew that Emilia wouldn't blame Calypso, they were close friends, but that meant that she would blame him. More eyes. He needed to look away. He did. He turned around and stared at the wall. A wall that was full of spiders and size of his hand. **(Yes! I knew that making them grow would be worth the extra work!)**

Leo blinked.

Then he screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed some more.

Then he caught on fire.

So did everything else.

* * *

Elsewhere, Hades was still screaming. It was his fault that they never heard Leo screaming. Or the Fan Army's fault. Eh, who cares.

Nico was having a great time. He ordered his Fan Army around, attacking his father (who stopped screaming because his throat had finally gave out), a baffled Jason, an unconscious Drew, and a terrified Grover.

Piper and Will just watched from the sidelines. They had the feeling that they should stay away.

That's when they saw heavenly light. Out of that light came...gods. Two gods. Hermes and Thanatos. They took one look at the chaos and sprung into action.

Thanatos to got ready to give Hades a big lecture on skipping his duties.

Hermes stood next to Will and Piper, snickering while he recorded everything on his iPhone 70 **(yes, you read that right)**. Nico withdrew his army and bounced around excitedly while Thanatos chewed out a still mortified Hades.

"So many of them..." Hades muttered. "So much power..."

Nico was now signing autographs, arms, and babies (don't ask).

Thanatos finally got Hades to travel back to the Underworld with him, leaving Hermes with fits of laughter. Finally calm, he waved goodbye to everyone and vanished with another glow of heavenly light.

What happened next didn't surprise Will, Piper, Jason, and Grover. (Oh, and Clarrise whom Nico hadn't noticed. She was snickering like Hermes) No, their brains were up to their surprise limit. The Nico Fans poofing away didn't do very much.

Neither did the Camp bursting into flames. They were concerned, of course, but not surprised. They all ran to Camp. Except Nico.

He thought for a moment and then nodded in approval. "Good job."

**I knew you would like it! Now, get going!**

Nico stared down at Drew, who had yet to wake up. "What should I do with her?"

**Just leave her there. No one cares about her, anyway.**

"True," Nico said, then jogged back to the burning Camp, leaving poor, poor Drew alone in the filthy sand of the beach.

Just three more minutes left!

* * *

Chiron was trying desperately to calm down the chaos. Everyone had come outside because somehow, even though it should have been impossible, the fire that Leo had started had engulfed every single cabin.

**Give me a break! I couldn't think of a logical explanation for it, okay? Jeez, so picky!**

Sighing, he tried again. Still nothing. It was like the Campers were making a point of ignoring him. Soon, against all odds, the fire had completely encircled the cabins and, for some reason, everyone was here and nowhere else. What on Olympus was going on?

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw Percy. He galloped over to him. "Percy, my boy, can you please douse the flames?"

He thought for a second, then shook his head. "Sorry Chiron, I can't." Chiron blanched.

"Why not?"

"Well, I need a source of water, but there are none. The fire is blocking us from the lake. There is no water below us, and there is no humidity in the air. I could put the fire out with the water inside me, but I'd rather not, because I'd take myself and everyone else out along with the fire."

**What? Not everything relies on chance!**

The reasoning sounded sound. Chiron cursed. "Where all of those conveniently placed water fountains! I know for a fact that they were all here this morning!"

Percy shrugged. "Sorry Chiron, I can't do anything about it." Chiron sighed and went back to figuring out a solution while trying (and failing) to get the Campers to calm down.

Percy smirked. This was so much fun. That's when he saw Mr. D approach him, completely unperturbed by the Camp going up in flames.

"Percy," he said evenly, "you know that if there's anything wrong, that you can tell me, right? I won't judge." Percy just stared at him.

"Um...I'm fine."

"So...nothing happened that I should be concerned about. Have you been having any black outs, nausea, or fits of maniacal glee?" Percy stared at him weirdly.

"No..." he slowly inched away from him, but Dionysus kept coming back.

"Percy, you have to tell me if you know something is wrong with you. I can't have a mentally disturbed kid in our camp." He had almost managed to say "mentally disturbed" in a way that wasn't creepy or weird. Almost.

"Don't worry. I'm not. I'll just go now..." Percy turned the other direction and flat out ran.

"You did this, didn't you!" he yelled at the sky.

**What? It was funny!**

Percy glared at nothing in particular.

Suddenly, a chill went down everyone's spine.

Annabeth had arrived.

* * *

After Annabeth had solved the whole fire problem (she had reminded Percy that he could stand fire for short amounts of time, so he could go outside and get access to the lake. When he came back, he came with a now awake and mad Drew) she had everyone explain what had happened.

So, that was how Annabeth had ended up slapping Leo. Several times. And then it was Will's turn. And Calypso's turn. Emilia settled for punching him in the gut.

The whole camp heard a loud snore. They all turned to see Nico, fast asleep on the ground, curled into a ball, sucking his thumb. The Stoll brothers now had excellent blackmail material.

Will smiled softly at Nico. He carefully picked him up and carried him into Hades Cabin.

The Camp was silent for a few moments, then everyone went back to animatedly talking to each other.

Grover told Percy that he was ending his break early because "I feel like I'm more likely to die here than at my actual job". Percy couldn't exactly argue.

Percy walked up to Jason. "I wonder why Apollo didn't come to the fight on the beach. I'm sure he would have wanted to get in on the action." Jason looked at him weirdly.

"Percy, Apollo's still missing. Remember?"

For a moment, he just thought. Then, forgetting where he was, he looked at the sky and yelled, "How come Leo and Festus are here, but Apollo's still missing like in canon? Also, I'm still mad about the whole Dionysus thing!" Then, his eyes widened and he shut his mouth.

"Percy," Dionysus said gently, which caused most of the camp to blanch. "You know you can tell me anything. Be honest. Do you need help?"

"No! I was just, um, yelling at the gods! That's it! I don't need help!" Percy insisted. Chiron shook his head.

"Percy, please. This is for your own good." Dionysus grabbed Percy's hand.

"No no no no no," he muttered as Dionysus dragged him to Big House. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SSSRHA!"

**Mwahahahaha! What are you gonna do about it?**

Annabeth cried while Piper patted her back.

"Shh, don't worry. Dionysus will help Percy. He'll be fine." Annabeth nodded, but there were still tears in her eyes.

"Y-yeah. T-thanks." She dabbed her eyes.

* * *

Two weeks later, the Camp was back to normal. Luckily, the fire had caused minimal damage.

Also, the game Truth or Dare had been banned.

Will and Nico were spending "Sunday Fun Day" (there was a petition going around to change the name and Nico had signed it many times using different pseudonyms) when Nico remembered something.

"Hey, Will, why were you, Percy, and Jason following me on the 'Day'." ("Day" was how the Campers called that day). Will looked confused for a moment, then his eyes brightened up.

"Oh yeah! I wanted to get one last picture for this scrapbook I'm making of our relationship! I asked Percy and Jason to help. The scrapbook was actually Jason's idea! Oh, I'm gonna go get it!"

He turned and ran towards Apollo Cabin. Nico had a fake smile on his face. It was sweet that his boyfriend wanted to do something nice for him...BUT A SCRAPBOOK?!

Suddenly, Nico had a new goal in his mind. The unsolved murder of Jason Grace.

* * *

When Leo walked into Hephaestus Cabin he was greeted by the hard eyes of Calypso. She sat on the floor.

"So," she said, her voice coated in sugar, "tell me about these 'other girls'."

Leo shivered. No. Oh gods no. I thought she forgot! Why did she remember? Why?

In the back of his mind, he could hear strange, maniacal laughing.

**Mwahahahaha!**


End file.
